it's frustrating.

what i think im doing right is apparently wrong to the other person. it is so frustrating how i am sometimes misunderstood and judged because of my old habits (perhaps my current habit too, but im trying to be a better person, i swear).

im sorry for being what i was before, but i don't deserve how u threating me this days. whatever i say or do or want to do is for the both of us, its because i care for you, but you feel that i am being selfish, and i expect u to be like how u were before. it's never like that, i just want to still be part of your life, and i understand u've grown up, i never did say i don't understand that. it is really frustrating because no matter what i'll do, u will think that i am wrong.

please don't misunderstood. i miss the old days, i dont want the exact ways, but i do want just a little piece of it.

i have my dignity. sorry, no apology from me.

CHICAGO - A transgender man who is six months pregnant said in an exclusive interview with Oprah Winfrey on Thursday that he always wanted to have a child and considers it a miracle.

"It's not a male or female desire to have a child. It's a human desire," Thomas Beatie said. "I have a very stable male identity," he added, saying that pregnancy neither defines him nor makes him feel feminine.

Beatie, 34, who lives in Oregon, was born a woman but decided to become a man 10 years ago. He began taking testosterone treatments and had breast surgery to remove glands and flatten his chest.

...He's becoming a star. i pity him lar. people calling him a freak show and all. I dont see why its wrong or disturbing for some people. yea, probably coz he looks like a guy, but the fact is he is really a woman and every woman has the right to have his own biological daughter.

Such and interesting story, i hope he and the baby will be safe. I wonder if he still has his vagina.hahaha.

wont get better than this

been a very good week for me.
i wish every day is my birthday!!

got back from sydney, went to a farewell, went to an event, watched a play, had a wonderful dinner, and surprised by a group of people that i love tooo much!

i've been mentioning about a sleepover theme party for my birthday and i thought tak jadi, but yay it was wayy way better than i imagined! i guess its safe to say, this is the best birthday i've ever had.

it was all planned out. with the super cute printed booklet written "amy's birthday sleepover (ade ribbon kecik so freaking comel)", and the games that brought me back to my childhood, delicious roasted chicken, nyummy fattening cake, and the best part was the little gift bags, it was so cuteeeeeeee i love it so much. oh yea did i mention i was the princess with the wand and i was in control for the night!!!!!!!!!! oh my god paling la best. ive always wanted a party like this when i was young, and i got it, only 10 years late, but who cares! ahaha i must say i still have the inner child in me.

im getting my kitten tommorow. thank u jijo, ira and a secret person, for donating to my kucing fund. im gonna love little gummi, aj, mika, more than you know it.

idzfan, you are rite, no amount or item could beat the experience u gave me. i love u for that and everything else.


thanks everyone for the great week !

i feel so loved.

there are more pics, but malas nak upload.

hi mum!

mummy, i know u are reading this. i love u and papa and i miss u , dad, abg, kngah, bing, kak ina and the 7 cats.



hopefully i get the chance to balik kejap.



since now i know u read my blog, i cannot write when im angau or angry and nak swear. haha

oh btw, happy birthday zaryn george lana.

but its all good.

yay its easter. malas gila nak belajar sekarang.

..

It's just one of those days where if someone triggers it, i will definitely burst.

its the time of the month i guess, where i feel upset over things i am unsure about. suddenly feels home is so much missed, uncertain about my capabilities to cope with future burdens, and the fact that i am getting older does not seems to help. i hate changes, i hate to look back and tell myself it's all just memories.

haih, pick of the week

JESSIE HILL.
sydney designer. saw her at the fashion week and immediately fell in love with her designs. very indie.


Just pics from lut's suprise

haha i knew it!

i seldom update kan? ya la coz i don't have a laptop, i practically live in idzfan's house, and even though i do take quite a lot of pictures, i can't be bothered to upload.

so what's been up?
been going to class, sleep, eat, walk around a little bit, oh ya,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY LUTFI!
going to a vintage sale today, hopefully i get to collect more and more junk.

why do i ever bother to write about my life?

its been a long time

since i last blogged.



I've been busy with uni, shit final year is not lot really looking good. making a storage for the fourth year "studio". Sounds fun, but hmm, after 4 years, i think i had enough of it. Can't want to get over this.



I'm going to future music today. I was looking forward for it, but tommorow i have to do some assigments, so aih..potong la. It's k.





HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR SHURA. IT'S BEEN 4 YEARS NOW SINCE I KNOW YOU, YOU'RE GETTING PRETTIER EVERY EACH YEAR!

btw i stole this pic from her facebook, i'm the worst person when it comes to uploading.

So, March babies?

8 march Shura
11 march Ikram
15 march Lutfi (i think?)
20 march Aput
22 march My Mum
26 march Az
27 march Me!!!
29 march Gian

my blog is so busan kan. ok bye